I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Randomize