If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
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