He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
