My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Randomize
