alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
How's work?
Spinning.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
