We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
