i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
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