Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
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she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
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We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
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