I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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