I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
