hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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