he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
