The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
If I die, sorry about rent.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Randomize
