people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
