Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
