sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
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