i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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