I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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