My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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