Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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