Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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