How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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