Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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