My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
