So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Randomize
