what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
