I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
