This is not my ceiling
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
