please come you make the beer taste better
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
