Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
