I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
