apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
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