my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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