things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
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