Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
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