My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize