You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
