so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
