I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
