the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
