Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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