Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Randomize
