so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
