Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
