the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize