Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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