Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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