haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
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Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
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according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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