just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
