if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
organizing the empties. That sober.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
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