Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
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I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
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Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
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