I look better un-naked...
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
