I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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