I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Randomize
