It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
my shit smells like andre
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.