My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
21 Distraught People Found Out They Had An STD
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.