I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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