You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
