Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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